Mr. Blue Memorial.

I miss Mr. Blue in ways I can't really even describe. I never realized how much I watched him, or listened to his little noises. Or how many times he entered my thoughts during the day, even when I wasn't home.

I had been planning to breed him again in a month or so, when the little white females are big enough to go in the 36 gallon tank. I had planned to put a barrier up in the 12 gallon tank and put Mr. Blue on one side and Mr. White on the other. I didn't want them to beat each other up. Then I was gonna replace the 5 gallon and 6 gallon tank with a single 10 gallon tank. Then, when a female was ready to drop her eggs, I was gonna move her over to the male tank and let them do their thing.

All of those plans were foibled when Mr. Blue died. I miss him so much.

I moved ahead and moved Mr. White into the 12 gallon tank with the three white females. The white females are too young to breed, but I moved one of the smaller grey females over, also, from the 36 gallon tank to the 12 gallon tank. She had a rough adjustment period, but she's okay now. She was ready to drop her eggs, but I don't think she wants to breed with Mr. White. For the most part, she keeps on one side of the tank away from the four white fish. (sigh)

I bought a 10 gallon tank, disassembled the 5 & 6 gallon tanks. When I was pouring the water from Mr. Blue's tank into the gardenia plant, the plant where Mr. Blue is buried, I realized that even though Mr. Blue's spirit is no longer there, this would be the last time he would be surrounded by his water. I cried for him, again, that night.

Grief cycles. Just like life.

Tonight I made a Christmas ornament memorializing him. Maybe it's stupid, I don't know. But I feel better knowing that he will be remembered by me. During his life, he made me laugh at his antics and cry when I was worried about him.

He touched my life and made it better.

Mr. Blue Christmas Ornament

Mr. Blue is Gone.

My cat followed me up the stairs tonight, I could hear her collar tag jingling. I turned around and stepped toward her, but she skittered away down three stairs and looked at me with big eyes. I called her, but she wouldn't come. I turned to head into the bedroom again, she followed me again. Jingle, jingle, jingle. I reached for the toy laying on the floor and swished it across the carpet, her pupils flared and dilated, her ears twitched and she attacked the toy. It made me smile, for just a moment. But I'll take it, because I've been crying since about 5:30 PM tonight.

Friday at lunch I stopped to see Mr. Blue at the fish store. He seemed to be doing better, was active and somewhat territorial. I was talking and Mr. Blue spotted me and swam directly over to me and bonked the glass with his nose, as if in greeting. They had put him in the tank with all the cichlid babies, some of which were his own. His side wasn't fuzzy anymore, but there was a spot, the spot where the fungus started, that looked pink and sore.

Yesterday I was out of town, but first thing this morning I called the fish store to check on him. The guy I talked to said he'd been out yesterday and wasn't sure which tank Mr. Blue was in, but he wasn't in the tank with all the babies. I asked if he was sure, was he maybe hiding behind the filter intake, he said "no... they wouldn't have sold him..." I tried to reach the owner of the store, my friend, to no avail. Of course I was imagining all sorts of things, Mr. Blue being sold or, God forbid, that he'd died.

An hour and a half later, the fish store called me back. Said he'd found Mr. Blue, that he was doing okay. A short bit after that, the owner called me back and said he'd treated the spot directly yesterday, that he preferred to keep Mr. Blue for another couple of days, that he wasn't ready to come home yet, but that he was doing okay. I said that was fine, I wanted to do what was best for Mr. Blue but I needed to bring the last of the babies by and drop them off later today. We agreed that would be fine.

Around 4:30 I rounded the last 10 babies up and took them into the store. The employee was busy cleaning the baby tank. I didn't see Mr. Blue in that tank, but since according to the employee he wasn't in the baby tank this morning, I didn't think anything of it.

The owner bagged the babies and floated them in the tank to accustom them. As he walked away to assist another customer, I started looking for Mr. Blue, just to visit him. I checked a few tanks and then spotted a blue fish, that looked like my Mr. Blue, all alone in the bottom tank. The problem was, that fish was upside down and his mouth was open. I knew it was him, but didn't want to believe it because according to my friend, Mr. Blue had been doing okay.

No, no, no. Oh God, no.

I approached my friend and said, "Please don't tell me that Mr. Blue is in a bottom tank all by himself. He said, "No, he's in with all the babies..." I replied that, no he wasn't... and I believed that the fish that was in the bottom tank was mine. And, if so, he was dead.

The owner checked with his employee and, yes, he had moved Mr. Blue to the lower tank thinking that he was sparing him polluted water while he cleaned the baby tank. The problem was, Mr. Blue's immune system was so compromised by all the treatments he'd been getting to clear up the fungus, that a tank change without floating him first sent him into shock and it killed him. He would have been able to come home in a couple days if that hadn't happened. Just that fast. A stupid human mistake.

And it broke my heart.

I stood in front of his tank and sobbed, my finger extended to touch the glass in front of Mr. Blue's face. My friend reached into the tank and cupped Mr. Blue in his hand. At that moment, Mr. Blue's eyes rotated forward as he looked at my finger. He knew I was there. Maybe he'd be okay??? Maybe? We moved him back into the baby tank, thinking the water he was used to would help him... it was a small hope. But it was to no avail.

His gills slowed and stopped. He never did recover. He was gone. I sat down between two empty tanks and just quietly sobbed. How could Mr. Blue be gone? He's such a tough fish, he's been through so much. I raised him from when he was a little baby, just like his babies. He made over 300 babies. How could he be gone?

I loved Mr. Blue. I know he had a good life and I know he knew he was loved and cared for. But he didn't deserve to die like this. I did what I thought was best because I felt like I was in over my head with treating the fungus, it wasn't getting any better with what I was doing. But really, I could "what if" and "should have" and "could have" myself all night. It won't do any good. Mr. Blue is gone and his tank is empty.

I buried him in the gardenia plant, the plant where I bury all my lost fish. I put him top side up, with his beautiful blue face pointing toward the sky. Toward Heaven. Because that's where he belongs and someday, when I go to Heaven, I'm gonna have a fish tank with my beloved Mr. Blue in it.

Dear Mr. Blue, I'm gonna miss you and your silly tank rearranging ways, moving your decorations and shoving your thermometer sensor under the light. More often than not, you would rearrange your tank and it looked like it was shipwrecked. You hated that glow in the dark plant and I put it in your tank just because I wanted to pester you. You always managed to flip it upside down, like it was a garbage can. And that always made me laugh. But it was okay because you were in there. A messy "room" is fine, as long as you're alive. I loved watching you watch me, sometimes you'd hide and peek out at me, other times you'd follow me inside your tank as I moved around the room. You were so spunky and feisty and I loved that about you. You were the man. But tonight, your tank is quiet, no thumps or rat-a-tat-tats. And that's just so wrong. I'm gonna miss you so much.

I love you, Mr. Blue. More than I probably should've.

Beautiful, Mr. Blue.












Empty, quiet tank.














This loss is gonna hurt for awhile...

Fungus on Mr. Blue

This past weekend we were away for a couple days. When I got home, first thing, I checked the fish tanks. My habits are hard to break.

I noticed that on the sides of Mr. Blue's tank and Mr. White's tank there were microscopic worms. So small that they looked like fiber from a paper towel, but they were definitely worms. I pulled Mr. Blue out and put him in the 12 gallon tank (the baby tank) in a holding cell while I cleaned his tank of the worms and algae. I pulled his tree rock out and noticed that the filter intake, which was hidden behind it, was pretty clogged up and not really pulling any water through. I cleaned it out.

I also cleaned Mr. White's tank, but I had just cleaned his tank not that long ago.

I have determined that glass tanks are far better than the plastic tanks (like Mr. Blue's and Mr. White's). I have such enormous trouble keeping algae out of them. In a day after cleaning, it's all back and it's so frustrating.

Tonight, three days after cleaning Mr. Blue's tank, I noticed that he has a patch about the size of one of his scales of what looks like fuzzy growth... a fungus? I worried myself sick over Mr. Blue and finally called my fish guy's cell phone and left him a message.

I was surprised, but my fish guy called me back around 10 PM and he said I could treat it with the Jungle Fungus clear, that it's pretty mild? That if it doesn't help, I could actually take Mr. Blue out of the water, lay him on a towel and wipe the fungus off of him????? Holy crap. I hope the fungus clear works because I do NOT want to be doing that to Mr. Blue.

I hope I don't lose him, that puts me in a really bad place emotionally. Poor fish. He did nothing wrong, I'm just a negligent fish owner.